10 Things I Learned in the last year (PART 1)
Typing this post made me cry a bit, b/c I always get sentimental about my birthday, but maybe reading this can help you release something, too.
Usually these “Things I learned” posts can seem cheesy, but hear me out before you think this is another self-promoting “I am wise” type emails–b/c it is not. (One thing I know for sure is that the more I know, the more things I realize I do not yet know.)
In the last 365 days, a whole latta epic, deep, beautiful, painful, and transformative sh*t happened.
I’m sure you can relate, as we are all undergoing a shift it seems?
As my birthday is coming up next week (we will be having a birthday sale where YOU get a gift from me for joining our PR program), I am in a reflective mood while typing this in Lison, where I am spending the next two weeks.
⬇️Here’s part ONE of the 10 things I learned in the last year.
1. Grief, although we try to avoid it at all costs–was my greatest teacher and catalyst for healing. Grief was my #1 teacher in my journey of healing my relationship with my mom. It is through exploring my mother’s deepest, darkest grief and FEELING that in my body (with help from psychedelics) was I able to allow compassion in. Through viscerally feeling her grief of being a young widow in a country far away, and having to rebuild her life after death and divorce, and never having the life she “imagined for herself”, was I able to create a space for love for her. Grief was what opened my heart where it was once closed off, so the love can come pouring in.
2. Being a true friend and loved one sometimes means not trying to “save” or “solve” everything, but simply sitting there in silence while holding space. My husband always says that I have an insane bias for action, always rushing to solve and execute on whatever ideas/problems that arise at lightning speed. While this is useful in business, it has made me a less than desirable friend and wife in some cases. One thing I have NOT shared is that my husband has been laid off for more than a year now–and through learning how to be a supportive partner for him and taking off my “tough love” hat where I usually resort to instinct of emailing every person I know to help find him a role (he is a magnificent listener and strategist and would be an incredible COO), I am learning to soften and allow for whatever negative emotions that he shares EXIST, instead of trying to extinguish it like a madwoman squashing flies. This is difficult for me to do, as I hate seeing him discouraged, but I found that just sitting with him and providing empathy, not solutions, is sometimes the more supportive thing.
3. Capitalistic ideals of “nonstop growth” is hurting our business and communities, and needs to stop. As a child of a single immigrant mother who literally did not have a toilet or shower in her house growing up, I was taught that hard work and money was our ticket to freedom and safety. Sure, that worked for our parent’s generation, but with today’s consumers being over-sold to and able to get information anywhere online, our online world is undergoing a cataclysiic shift. We know that the “10x funnel magic” the marketing bros preached is no longer working, and businesses are shutting down and getting discouraged if they can’t “grow at all costs” this year. But seriously, what in the natural world grows without periods of rest and reduction/downturn? VIRUSUS and CANCER. As we awaken and return to a more humane model of business, where we are required to actually remember our customers’ names and CARE about their stories, this market is a lesson for all of us to remember why the f*ck we are in business in the first place: to connect and serve people, with their unique and multi-faceted desires. That’s why I literally want to vomit 🤮 when I see in someone’s IG bio “6” or “7 figure coach helping you get to 6 or 7 figures” because, what does that f*cking mean, anyways? For me? I am loving this year of getting on calls with my customers (yes, over 100+ calls and counting), listen to their feedback, creating spaces where they can connect (even without me present) and feel seen not as a number in a funne, but as an evolving and beautiful work in progress, as we all are.
4. Even if you aren’t spiritual, our customer’s intuition and ability to sense “our energy” is undeniable. I was also brainwashed by the funnel bro’s hard selling techniques, and to some, I still can be a hard seller. But the difference between the old Gloria (who thought nothing was ever enough) and the new Gloria this year, is that although I know for certain that our program and community is exquisitely rare and proven to help small businesses, I am selling without the urgency and pressure I used to. I feel relaxed and happy to have a smaller business and team now that I don’t believe in wanting to “grow at all costs”. And WOW, does it feel good to be in that space. When your audience can feel the pressure and desperation, they naturally get turned off and subconsciously already want to put distance between themselves and your offers. When you sell from a place of unwavering commitment but no urgency because you TRUST that they will join when they are ready to, the sales come flooding in. This was shown to me after I took a month off from my wedding, where I literally did not expect much revenue to come in but then after I got back, people from years ago are coming out of the woodworks joining my program and wanting to work with me long-term on a mnothly basis. I am now at a point where I am having to turn clients AWAY because I am in my “lazy girl era” and just want to enjoy my European summer without having so many people to answer to. Strange what happens when you step back, learn into ‘enoughness’, and then the universe creates an opening for abundance to come flooding in.
5. When you lean into “enoughness” with a pure intention, the right people will ALWAYS find a way to you, sooner or later. Sure, this may be a privileged thing to say now that my business is at a certain point, so take this with a grain of salt when you are just starting your business and ramping up. But when you have a proven business model and have served many clients over and over with repeatable results, the right customers and partners will always find their way to you, without you having to keep outreaching and networking to exhaustion. I used to think that I needed to always have a podcast manager on my team who’s only job is to pitch me for podcasts and speaking opportunities, and while this is helpful to grow the business, I am finding that even in my “descaled” smaller team structure, the right people you always wanted to network with, will find their way to you. Sure, it might take longer than you’d like, but trust me when I say: stay true to your mission, keep serving from an intentional place, and the right people WILL come. Your vibe attracts your tribe, yall!
That’s all for me this week folks, I am taking the rest of the day to enjoy the Lisbon sunshine and indulge in *humanely priced* lattes and pedicures ahead of my birthday next Thursday. I can’t remember the last time I paid less than $7 for an ice latte or less than $100 for a pedicure w/tip NYC.
Before I sign off–tell me, what is your one favorite summer indulgence you are NOT feeling guilty about? Hit REPLY!
Or just join our PR program to meet me and tell me on our small group call on 7/31!
💗Cheering for your most unapologetic self,
Gloria