Episode 169: Why This Year Changed Everything For Me (Part 2)
In this raw and vulnerable episode, I'm unpacking the biggest lessons from my last year - from using grief to heal my relationship with my immigrant mom, to finally breaking free from toxic "grow at all costs" hustle culture. We'll dive deep into why nonstop growth is killing our businesses (only viruses and cancer grow without rest), and how learning to embrace "enoughness" completely transformed both my business and personal relationships. If you're tired of the pressure to constantly scale and ready to build a more intentional, human-centered business, this conversation is for you.
5 Other Crucial Lessons Every Small Business Owner Needs for Success
Healing yourself creates a ripple effect, impacting your relationships and the world.
True richness comes from time, freedom, and presence, not just financial gains.
Saying "no" more often leads to focused growth, better results, and prevents burnout.
Tools and software help, but fast decision-making ultimately determines your business’ speed.
Follow mentors and coaches aligned with your values, not just the loudest ones.
Unlock personal growth and business success with these mindful strategies: heal from within to transform relationships, embrace simplicity for true richness, scale down to boost profitability, say “no” to stay focused, and trust authentic connections over shiny tools. Thrive by doing less, but doing it better!
Product Businesses! Download my free HOW TO GET INTO A GIFT GUIDE/PRODUCT ROUND UP roadmap for free HERE to get more sales and traffic to your site this season.
If you want to land your first feature for free without any connections, I want to invite you to watch my PR Secrets Masterclass, where I reveal the exact methods thousands of bootstrapping small businesses use to hack their own PR and go from unknown to being a credible and sought-after industry expert. Register now at www.gloriachoupr.com/masterclass.
Resources Mentioned:
Join the PR Secrets Masterclass
Join the Small Biz PR Pros Facebook Group
DM the word “PITCH” to us on Instagram to get a pitching freebie https://www.instagram.com/gloriachoupr
Connect with Gloria Chou on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/gloriaychou
Join Gloria Chou's PR Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/428633254951941
Additional Resources:
Listen On Your Favorite Podcast Platform
Follow & Review on Apple Podcasts
Are you following my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today so you don’t miss any future episodes!
I would also appreciate it if you would leave me a review! Reviews help me make sure I am providing the content that you need! Plus, you will be entered to WIN a 1:1 pitch writing session with me where I will help you find your press-worthy angle! Click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”.
Transcript
00:00:00 Gloria: What's up, Small Business Heroes? Welcome back to Small Business PR where we make PR and marketing super simple and accessible for the everyday small business hero. Now, on this podcast, we talk a lot about actionable strategies. I always like to show and not just tell, but today we're going to do something different.
00:00:14 Gloria: If you listened to last week, I recapped a very vulnerable and reflective episode about the 10 things that I learned from reflecting on my last year. I just celebrated my birthday. It was a very big, beautiful, epic year full of ups and downs. I got married, I rekindled my relationship with my mom. My mom got to meet my in-laws for the first time.
00:00:33 Gloria: But there's also a lot of sorrow and pain as well when you do this deep work, whether it's healing your inner child, whether it's reconciling things with family members, whether it's merging of families. And also with the market downturn and what's happening in online business, it was definitely a year full of surprises. And if you're listening to this, you can probably relate. So this is part two of a two-part series called 10 lessons I learned in the last year. As I recorded this, you know, close to my birthday, I felt like it was pertinent to share.
00:01:02 Gloria: So last time I shared the five main lessons. I'm going to go through the rest of the lessons that I've learned that are very personal to me. May this be a mirror for you. May this create space for you to invite some more curiosity into your business. May you feel some resonance with what you're feeling because it's all about creating that connection and finding a way for others to see their stories in your stories. So I will continue with the lesson.
00:01:27 Gloria: So another lesson that I learned from last year was that when we heal ourselves, we heal the world. I'll never forget, I had someone tell me that they were sitting in an office and there was this beautiful, I want to say like 3D art and it was like metal sticks that were basically kind of look like little lines, right? And so they were like metal dangles, if you will, and they were connected. And when you touch one, the rest of them vibrate. And so this kind of connection where like, when we change ourselves, we change the world.
00:01:52 Gloria: I learned that through healing my traumas from childhood, my grief and my relationship with my estranged mother. Because here's the thing, my mother did not change. She's still the same woman that undergone her thing. She still has that toxic mentality of survival and money and security. But because I changed and I softened and I dealt with what I needed to do so that I can create a space of compassion for her, she's a completely different being.
00:02:20 Gloria: I mean, she had an autoimmune thing during COVID, which was not related to COVID. But in Chinese medicine, they say that different organs represent different emotions. And she had a really weird, surprising lung condition where her lungs started attacking itself. And I really believe that grief, which is connected to the lung in Chinese medicine, is the main arc of her life.
00:02:42 Gloria: You know, she became a widow in her 20s. She came to a new country away from family and community. She has loved and lost and, you know, built up so many things and she also got divorced to her second husband. So she's been through a lot of grief and also the grief of honestly not living close with her only child, which is me. We have had decades apart from each other and I lived only eight years of my life with her so I do feel like, you know, grief was a big thing.
00:03:07 Gloria: And so through addressing that grief, through healing myself, through not needing her to understand me or basically change the past or make it up to me because she can, right? She did the best that she could, she completely changed. Her health is so much better. She's beaming, she's full of energy. She stopped taking her meds. And so I really believe that it is our highest and most sacred work is to work on ourselves.
00:03:30 Gloria: When we heal ourselves, when we look at parts of ourselves that maybe we've been avoiding so that we can really stop these patterns that come up, whether it's being triggered, whether it's abandonment issues, whether it's our unhealthy narratives around money and belonging and safety and security, we literally heal the world around us. And so I saw this firsthand with my relationship with my mother, and it's absolutely 100% true.
00:03:52 Gloria: Seventh lesson is that it can actually feel really rich to make less money. I'm going to repeat that again. I have actually felt richer in life and in my business, the less money I made this year. Now I've gotten my business, obviously to a point now where I can say that. So obviously if you are just starting your business, you're in a different phase.
00:04:11 Gloria: But after you have a validated offer, after you have, you know, given repeated results for customers over and over again, you kind of reach a critical mass in business where you kind of know what you're doing. And of course, there's always more problems to be solved. But I think the whole default narrative is like you have to keep growing. You have to double, triple your revenue every year. And I said in the last episode that that's actually very toxic. The only things in the natural world that keeps doubling is cancers and viruses.
00:04:36 Gloria: So I'm in a season of descaling. I'm in my lazy girl era. I am saying no to a lot of things, which I will talk about next. And I see my revenue going down, right? And maybe raise your hand too if you feel this, our revenue has gone down, but I feel richer. I feel richer in time. I feel richer in spaciousness. I feel richer in listening and being able to say, yes, the things that I want. I feel richer in being present for the people that I care about. I feel richer in observing life as it unfolds instead of always trying to change it or be at odds with it. I feel richer in so many ways. And just being able to say that and to feel richer when you're actually making less money is really, really beautiful and profound.
00:05:19 Gloria: I also realized that a lot of the people who actually make seven figures, they actually get to keep very little bit of for themselves. And I know a lot of people in my mastermind who have gotten to seven figures and they're actively trying to descale their business because they realize they don't want a big team. They don't want all the complexities that come with that, all the demands on their time. The bigger you get, you kind of start feeding this machine and you become just on this wheel that's constantly spinning and you kind of lose sight of like, is this really even what I want? So even though your revenue might be down, think about other ways you might have invited more richness into your life.
00:05:52 Gloria: For me, I've actually gotten more profitable even though I have less top line revenue because I don't have seven, eight people on my payroll. I am back to making some of the main decisions for my business that actually have caused a lot of people to resonate with our marketing way more. I hired a CMO who was very expensive. She was great, highly recommended, right? But she wasn't able to tell my story the way that I could tell my story. And so our audience size did not really grow. And the moment I took back that, our audience started to grow.
00:06:20 Gloria: So again, less revenue, but feeling more rich. And so how does that factor into the way that you think about things and maybe you maybe can feel rich and invite yourself to be curious around what does richness feel like for you that's not associated with your top line revenue because there are so many things.
00:06:37 Gloria: Okay, the next thing is, what I've learned last year is, along with descaling, you obviously have to say more no to things. And so the more I grow in richness, in presence, the more I say no. And I know this is something that a lot of entrepreneurs say. They say, okay, well, the more that you grow, the more that you say no, the more you're strict about your time. But in general, just in life, when we grow as people, not just entrepreneurs, not just in revenue, we already know that every yes is a no to something else. So how can we be more disciplined in what we say yes and no to?
00:07:08 Gloria: And so I get now, you know, people wanting me to contribute for them on their blog or invite me to speak for things. And although I'm really flattered and I love doing that, I'm in a season where I just don't have the bandwidth for that, because I don't have as many people on my team. I opted for a more simplistic structure and I feel really abundant in that. It feels really nice to have a smaller team. And so it just means that I just have less time and bandwidth to say yes to all the things that I normally would say yes to.
00:07:38 Gloria: And I don't really feel FOMO about it if people are not inviting me to speak that maybe had me on a couple years ago, because I really do believe that the right message will get to the right people, right? You don't constantly have to be out there in front of every single person. And it's really about doing less but better. And so we're trying to do that now with our program.
00:07:56 Gloria: And I will say that in this year of descaling, I might have had less team members, but I have had more contact with our customers, with our members, and getting on calls with them and getting their feedback and knowing how, what they're feeling and how I can create the best program for them. And that is really rich to me.
00:08:12 Gloria: A lot of coaches might say, well, you need to not do any free calls or kind of a basic thing that's like, you need to put your time behind a paywall. And maybe that worked, you know, a few years ago when there was a gold rush of COVID and everybody was joining online communities. And now people want to know, are you really there for me? Am I going to be another person in hundreds of people's Facebook group where you don't even know who I am?
00:08:33 Gloria: I actually had someone who rejoined my program two years ago, from two years. She graduated and she came back. And she said that in the two years that she was gone, she joined a group that was even more expensive than what mine cost. And when she got on the phone with the coach, they didn't even know who she was. And so I think we're in a season where it's like, how can you do less but better? And it's not about saying yes, it's about saying no, but then saying yes to those things and really doing it three, four, five times better. And so that's kind of the season that I'm in and the lesson that I've learned which is that the more I grow in every way, the more no's that I say.
00:09:09 Gloria: Another thing that people can relate to a lot is software. I get asked this question all the time. You know, like, I need this automation or this software and we get looped in this internet blackhole of comparing software and tools. And here's the thing, what I've learned is that it was never really about the tools anyways, because simple is best.
00:9:29 Gloria: And you're always gonna have the newest tool on the market, iPhones always come out with a new one. So even if you think you have the right tool, they're gonna have another iteration or someone else is gonna do something better. Don't use tools and deciding which software to delay you from progress because that is just an excuse that you're giving yourself of, oh, I can't choose, I'm waiting on the right tools. It's just another excuse. It's just like, I'm waiting on the right time. And you know this as action-taking entrepreneurs that like, there is never the right time and you're never gonna feel ready.
00:09:58 Gloria: So I see software as tools, shining new objects as just another thing that's maybe fun and entertaining, but the quickness of your ability to make decisions determines the pace of your business. So the quicker you're able to just get a software and try it out, and maybe it doesn't work, but at least you learn something about it for the next time, the better it is. And what's not good is you using that as an excuse to delay one week, one month, one quarter because you haven't had the right tools. Do you know what I mean?
00:10:25 Gloria: So I'll give you an example. I used to, oh, it used to be a big thing. I have my PR masterclass on a webinar software. I've tried so many, I've spent thousands, I'm talking about tens of thousands of dollars on all the different softwares for various webinars, live stream, recorded. And I'm just back to the basics where when people opt in to watch my masterclass that shows them exactly how to get featured, I put the video on the thank you page.
00:10:52 Gloria: And unlike what a lot of other marketers are doing, you can pause, you can go forward, you can play and then start and stop and scroll the timer thing. So I really believe that giving people option and just reducing the friction there is between what you have to offer and what they're getting is so much better than having all these fancy tools. So give the people what they want.
00:11:10 Gloria: And so now my funnel, if you will, is working better than ever. And I'm not using any complex software for webinar. It's just a YouTube link that's unlisted or a Vimeo that's recorded a video, you know, and sure, I might not have as many analytics but my conversion rates are much higher because people are getting the information they want right away, which is to watch the PR training.
00:11:31 Gloria: And by the way, you can always watch the PR training on demand for free at gloriachoupr.com/masterclass. It's my CPR method that have helped thousands of entrepreneurs get featured in top places like Oprah and Vogue and Allure and New York Times without knowing anybody in PR and having any PR connections.
00:11:49 Gloria: So the last of the 10 lessons from this year that I've had as I get really reflective on my birthday is that as everyone becomes a coach and the market's saturated and there's AI and the barrier to content is so low is be careful who you follow and get advice from. Now I know in this online world, this capitalistic world, and it's a very American thing too, it's kind of the loudest person in the room is the one that is the de facto authority on something, right?
00:12:18 Gloria: And I'm not sure that that is the right way. And I don't think it's a very good way because just because you're the loudest person and you get the most attention doesn't mean that you have any idea that your methods are going to work from somewhere else. And the reason why I say that now is because we are entering into an era where there are infinite options to make money online, right? Before it was like, oh, this is you're making a program or you're making a course like, how are people going to buy that? Now people are just so used to buying things online. So, you know, it's really not about creativity because you can just make anything and it will fly.
00:12:51 Gloria: It's really about what's aligned for you. And I think a lot of times we end up listening to the four or five loudest guys in the room, who honestly have not updated their training or their skillset in the last four years when the market has severely changed and they're just spitting out the same templates and things for you so that you can be another customer without really taking into account what is happening, that people are a little bit different now, that maybe our audience, especially my audience of women entrepreneurs, it's really not about getting to six figures or seven figures. It's about feeling comfortable to even take up space in the first place. And so how can I create a community around that so that they can do the work?
00:13:31 Gloria: So again, be careful who you follow. My neighbor's dog is barking because we're dog sitting, but be careful who you follow. And just because someone has six, seven, eight figures in their profile doesn't mean that that is the person you should follow. And I actually just made a reel where I kind of, it's a comedy one where it says, anytime I see a marketing bro with six or seven figures in their Instagram bio, I throw up a little bit.
00:13:55 Gloria: And so, you know, there's nothing wrong with saying that you're six, seven figures, right? I've taken my business to seven figures, but it's not what I lead with because I think intrinsically all that is fluff because you can make seven figures and have a 1% margin or you can make seven figures and have zero profitability. So a lot of people I know now that I've been in the online space, like I said, who are making sound figures get to keep very little of it for themselves. And they're actually making less revenue, but more profitable. So be careful who you follow. Don't let the only people who are maybe the loudest in the room, get your attention. Your attention is sacred. Make sure that it aligns with you.
00:14:31 Gloria: So that's it for my 10 things that I've learned. A lot of them are painful lessons or lessons that are close to my heart. And the one thing I want to say is I'm just so grateful that you're here week after week, listening to me. This is my place to really express myself. And usually we do a lot of that tactical marketing PR things, but I wanted to hop on and really tell you kind of the year that I've been having and how I've transformed as well, because I think it's important to know like, who am I and who are you listening to, right? And then why should you care to see if you find any resonance in my story at all and if we vibe, because your vibe attracts your tribe.
00:15:06 Gloria: So thank you so much. If you know any small business owners who can benefit from this podcast. Please tell them to listen and as usual, your rating and review really helps me get this podcast out to the hands of more small businesses like you. Thank you so much for being here and I cannot wait to see you next week.