I carried this guilt for so long
💕 When I finally found my person—my #1 advocate and support—something unexpected happened.
For years after meeting my now-husband, I had recurring nightmares. Dreams of one of us dying before we could even make it to our Sicily wedding.
These weren’t just random bad dreams. They were my brain’s way of screaming:
No one deserves to be this happy without paying a price.
It wasn’t just personal—it was ancestral. These nightmares were the echo of generations of women before me. A trauma passed silently through bloodlines:
My great-grandmother, whose feet were bound in traditional Chinese culture, unable to run away.
My mother, widowed at 27, holding me, her 3-year-old daughter, in her arms.
Later, watching her lose everything again after a brutal divorce, our belongings tossed out onto the curb.
When you grow up witnessing repeated loss, happiness doesn’t feel safe.
It feels dangerous.
It feels like tempting fate.
How Trauma Teaches Us to Fear Joy
Living with that fear became my default setting.
I learned early that:
Happiness is temporary.
Security is an illusion.
If something good happens, disaster must be lurking around the corner.
This mental math became a survival mechanism. A way to make sense of abandonment, death, betrayal.
But it also left a toxic imprint: a crushing, invisible weight of guilt for wanting good things.
How Love and Everyday Joy Changed My Blueprint
❤️ Being with my husband started shifting everything.
Watching him savor life was like watching someone speak a language I had never heard but somehow understood deep down:
He takes long, luxurious baths without apology.
He eats meals slowly, like each bite is a blessing, while I shoveled down food like a wartime soldier.
Most importantly: He fundamentally believes good things are his birthright.
Not "what terrible price will I pay?"
But "why shouldn't good things happen to me?"
For the first time, I questioned everything:
My patterns of overwork.
My constant striving.
My living by everyone else's definitions of success.
✨ I realized: There’s a different way to live.
The Cost of Living Only in Masculine Energy
I see this now in so many women entrepreneurs:
Skyrocketing success... followed by sudden health crises.
Record-breaking revenue... but relationships falling apart.
Outward achievements... but inner emptiness.
We've been conditioned to operate solely in masculine energy:
Push harder.
Do more.
Never stop moving.
Never ask for help.
Never, ever receive without guilt.
But true healing requires a new way—one that honors the seasons of life instead of endless summer.
It asks us to:
Receive as well as give.
Rest as well as rise.
Trust as well as push.
Healing Generational Cycles: My Sacred Work
Through plant medicine journeys, somatic therapy, and deep introspection, I’ve been rewriting the narrative.
It’s now possible for me—and for all of us—to:
Take long baths without guilt 🛁
Create spaciousness in our calendars ⏰
Go for midday walks without justification 🚶♀️
Enjoy solo dates without feeling selfish 💝
Healing ourselves heals those around us.
My relationship with my estranged mom is proof: transformation is possible. Patterns can be uprooted and replaced.
Reflecting on Your Own Journey
I want to ask you:
💌 Where are you on your journey of relating to guilt?
💌 What might open up if you truly believed you deserve good things—just because you exist?
You deserve joy.
You deserve abundance.
You deserve ease.
Without earning them.
Without fearing you'll lose them.
Let that sink in.
Introducing: A Sacred In-Person Gathering for Women Entrepreneurs in NYC
✨ FIRST EVER NYC EXPERIENCE - June 27th, 2025 ✨
Some healing can only happen in community.
Some burdens are too heavy to put down alone.
This is why I’m hosting a sacred, in-person gathering in SoHo—designed for women entrepreneurs and leaders who are ready to:
Break free from guilt and generational patterns.
Share honest conversations about success and sustainability.
Connect with others walking the same healing journey.
Mastermind, collaborate, and co-create from a space of true belonging.
💜 This will be an intimate, carefully curated space—limited spots available to allow for deep connection.
A beautiful SoHo venue is secured, with surprises waiting for you.
If your heart is nudging you… you know this space is for you.
👉 YES, I WANT DETAILS ABOUT THE NYC EXPERIENCE →
With you on this healing journey,
Gloria